5 Common Myths You’ll Hear About Couples Counseling
You might have heard some myths about couples counseling that make you hesitant to give it a try. Maybe you’re worried about being judged or think your relationship is beyond saving. But the truth is that couples therapy can be a game-changer for so many folks. Don’t let those misconceptions hold you back from potentially transforming your relationship. Counseling provides a warm and nonjudgmental space to work through challenges and rediscover your bond. Let’s break down some of the most common fallacies.
1. Couples Counseling Is Only for Couples on the Brink of Divorce
Do you think couples counseling is just for relationships on life support? This common myth couldn’t be further from the truth. In reality, therapy can benefit most couples. This can be a particularly scary myth because it might feel like seeking therapy is the same as admitting that your relationship is in trouble. In fact, getting help sooner rather than later, even as a preventative tool, can be very effective. I love it when folks come in when their relationship only needs a band-aid rather than major surgery. That said, therapy can be crucial in healing relationships that need a lot of repair. Whether dealing with minor disagreements or significant challenges, couples counseling can help you grow stronger as a team.
2. The Therapist Will Take Sides
In couples counseling, the therapist’s allegiance is to your relationship, not to either individual. It’s their job to try to understand why each partner’s emotions and actions make sense and develop empathy and rapport with both partners. In fact, it’s crucial to the success of couples therapy that you don’t feel that the therapist is favoring one partner over the other. If you feel this way in therapy, it’s really important to bring it up with your therapist - no therapist is perfect, and miscommunications happen. A good therapist will respond with empathy and curiosity and take responsibility for their part in the dynamic.
3. Couples Therapy Doesn’t Work
You may have heard that couples therapy is a waste of time, but that’s far from the truth. While older studies painted a gloomy picture, much of that research was done before many therapists were extensively trained in couples therapy. Recent research tells a different story. Modern approaches like Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy boast an impressive 70-75% success rate. It is important to check out the training and credentials of the therapist, as not all therapists receive training in couples counseling. Look for a therapist who has done extensive post-graduate training in an effective modality like the Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy, or PACT couples therapy. A therapist who has marriage and family therapy training and holds an MFTC or an LMFT license also has additional graduate school training in family systems and couples therapy work.
4. Couples Therapy Is Only for the Weak
Seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a testament to your commitment. Think of therapy as a relationship tune-up. Like your car needs regular maintenance, your partnership benefits from professional insights. Therapy might reveal some hard truths and can bring up topics that you might be avoiding. But if discussing your issues leads to a breakup, chances are those problems were already there, silently eroding your connection. Therapy simply brings them to light, allowing you to address them head-on.
Couples counseling isn’t just for couples on the brink of breaking up. It’s a proactive tool for strengthening your bond and navigating life’s challenges together. Don’t let these myths hold you back. If you’re ready to invest in your relationship, I am here to help. I offer a warm and non-judgmental space to explore your concerns and work towards more connection in your relationship. Schedule a couples therapy consultation today.