Premarital Counseling in Arvada, CO
Looking To Get Ahead Of Relationship Conflict Before Getting Married?
Are you engaged or thinking about getting married?
Despite your excitement, do you have worries or concerns about committing to a life together?
Could you and your partner benefit from premarital counseling to ensure that you’re covering all of your bases before saying “I do”?
It’s normal to be a little apprehensive about getting married, and in fact, it demonstrates that you’re taking this decision seriously! But feelings of worry, doubt, and confusion can be overwhelming, especially when you’re in the process of planning a wedding.
What Brings You To Therapy?
Couples seek premarital counseling for a variety of reasons. Maybe you want to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page about finances, having kids together, and other long-term goals. Perhaps you have ongoing conflict around a specific issue that you want to face head-on before committing for life.
It’s also possible that the two of you come from different cultures or family backgrounds that may present issues down the line. A lot of premarital couples seek therapy as a proactive measure—attempting to get ahead of conflict before it arises—especially as the stress of wedding planning builds.
No matter what brings you to the therapy space, I will tailor this process in a way that makes sense for your relationship. Through premarital counseling, you can feel clear and confident about building the future you both want together.
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Premarital Couples Often Experience A Lot Of Pressure
So many couples believe that they need to be “perfect” before getting married, or they believe that a marriage will ultimately make their relationship “perfect.” This expectation puts unnecessary pressure on the relationship—leading to conflict, breakdowns in communication, and doubts about compatibility.
But marriage is rarely ever a straightforward or simple prospect for any of us. In our culture, there is often a lot of “baggage” and expectations around getting married, usually stemming from the relationships we’ve witnessed throughout our lives. Our experiences can drastically differ from those of our partner, creating conflicting goals and standards. And a common theme of premarital counseling is do we have the same values?
A premarital therapist can help you make sense of what is going on in your partnership more broadly when you begin to feel too stuck in the nitty gritty details. As we work to uncover your fears and trace them back to core causes, you can learn what it takes to have essential conversations and make important decisions—for life.
Premarital Counseling Through My Practice
As a therapist who takes a highly relational approach in counseling, I work with couples at all stages in their relationship, including those considering marriage. For more information about general, non-premarital couples counseling, visit my Couples Therapy page.
My Approach
Premarital couples counseling is a proactive process that helps you determine if you’re ready for marriage and what you need to make your unique marriage work. In our sessions together, I will collaborate with you and your partner to identify your goals. From there, we will explore the areas where you feel stuck or frustrated in the relationship with the goal of resolving unhelpful patterns.
One of the tools I use as a premarital therapist is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). As one of the most widely used and effective couples counseling methods, EFT fosters vulnerability and direct communication by exploring what’s beneath the surface.
This process allows you to build compassion for one another as you learn to turn away from criticism and toward collaboration. Equipped with highly effective communication skills, you and your partner can get clear about the next steps in your relationship with the knowledge of how to have tough conversations both now and in the future.
There’s so much potential for creating the marriage you want to build together—a relationship that feels close, connected, and capable of tackling the hard stuff. Premarital counseling is a long-term investment, and one that will pay off with rewards for years to come.
Common Concerns About Premarital Counseling For Couples…
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As a therapist specializing in couples issues of all kinds, this is a common concern among many clients. I know that there is still stigma attached to therapy, and that many couples assume that needing therapy signals their relationship is in trouble.
But actually, the period before getting married is a great time to go to therapy. It allows you to proactively address concerns before they become too entrenched and complex, and you’ll learn more about what issues to look out for as your marriage evolves. This process is entirely nonjudgmental and confidential, and no one needs to know you’re in counseling if you don’t want to tell them.
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In my experience, therapy doesn’t create problems so much as it brings core issues to the surface that you may be inadvertently avoiding or holding onto. While these mechanisms might be protecting you in the moment, they’re actually setting you up for future conflict with your partner.
The fact that you’re considering premarital counseling indicates that there may be something in your relationship that needs work now. While it may feel overwhelming or intense to consider therapy, I will do everything I can to create a gentle, collaborative, and productive experience for you.
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Unfortunately, this is an experience that some clients have in couples therapy, but I assure you that I try my best to create an environment where both partners feel heard. Taking sides does not work in premarital counseling because it slows progress and keeps the therapy space from being an open, vulnerable environment. And I am always open to feedback if you are not feeling comfortable in therapy.
To address any concerns about this, I conduct individual sessions with each partner at the beginning of treatment so that I can understand each of your perspectives on a deep level. Through this process, my goal is to help both partners gain new perspectives on their relationship and genuine empathy for each other.
Premarital Counseling Is Proactive Counseling
If you’re engaged or considering marriage, a premarital therapist can help you feel prepared to overcome conflict both now and in the future. To find out more or get started with counseling, contact me.